The only pal you’ll need during a zombie apocalypse…
Lee Valley provides one of the best tools to help you survive a zombie apocalypse. Ok. Perhaps, they actually call it the Original Woodman’s Pal, but it should actually be called, the Zombie Hunter’s Pal.
At one point, during any zombie apocalypse, you are going to wish for this “Woodman’s Pal”. Guns should be your very last resort for dispensing zombies–just too loud. Or, perhaps, all your remaining “friends” are that much faster than you. Whatever the reason, at some point, it will come down to hand-to-putrid-hand combat in the streets of Deadmonton.
With this tool in your hand, one swift swing of the 11 1/2″ double-beveled edge blade will decapitate your shuffling foe instantly. Then, flip the blade around and bury the single-beveled sickle-blade through the skull. This will disable the brain, ensuring that no one passing by later will suffer an ankle bite (unless, of course, that kind of thing is what you consider good comedy).
Here is part of the description from the Lee Valley page which features this amazing zombie dispatching tool:
“More versatile than a machete or an ax, it excels at cutting through overgrown vegetation…” (what is more vegetative than a zombie?)
“It weighs 1 lb 9 oz, … yet is superbly balanced, reducing fatigue in prolonged use.” (nothing more need be said on this point.)
“…it is simply the best hand tool we have ever seen for clearing land.” (Clearing land of zombie hordes, that is!)
With this in your possession, and a safe-house in Fort Deadmonton, you will find yourself surviving the apocalypse for a good, long time.
Be smart… prepare yourself… live.
See the Original Woodman’s Pal at Amazon.