It's no fun being a zombie...

At least that is what I learned on June 3rd, 2017 during the Science of Survival: Zombies, at the Telus World of Science Edmonton (TWOSE). Here's a few other things I learned:

1. It would be damn hard to fight a horde of zombies with nothing but a crowbar
2. Zombies don't let you take a break to regain your breath
3. I'm too old for this ...

The evening started as all evenings at TWOSE should, a little science. We gathered in the IMAX theater where two "scientists" went over the cause of the zombie outbreak in Edmonton, then hinted on how we could stop the apocalypse before Edmonton was wiped off the Alberta map by the military--the last resort in virus containment.

My group, of about 30, then headed to the exhibition area (the spot where Angry Birds just flew from). Where we learned to use several types of tourniquets to stop blood flow, should a limb need hacking off following a zombie bite. Afterwards, combat training. Battles took place in five different rings with bats, tire irons, pipes, sledge hammers... all were spongy of course. After a few minutes of battling my friend with these items, I realized just how tiring it would actually be if I were swinging constantly at zombies with the real versions of these tools. Though, I guess, I wouldn't be laughing so hard while doing it against zombies. At least, not at first.

Once we left the exhibition area, we moved on to the TWOSE Body Fantastic gallery area, where my group of soon-to-be zombie chow went through a scenario on how to check and secure rooms, and how to dispatch the shambling things that stood in the way of finding a cure. Once done, and after learning how to lasso a zombie, we moved up to the Margaret Zeidler Star Theatre, where we joined all the other groups from the 6:30 pm time slot (the first of three for the evening) there were 250 of us in the room, along with a few scientists and guards, all were considered alive at that point.

That would soon change.

Once enlightened on our course of action, a zombie broke through and attacked a scientist, who was holding a vial that contained the virus responsible for the zombie outbreak. The vial broke, releasing the airborne contagion. All of us were infected. Leaving us no choice but to try and find the cure.

My buddy, Dean, and I made our way out. Neither of us had found a weapon. But we did find the combination for the kit which held an item we needed. Why was it locked up in a friggin kit?! We tried the combination a dozen times, couldn't pop that thing open. The longer we tried, the more zombies that materialized--our comrades, moments earlier.

I glanced around to look for a missed clue, and turned back to witness Dean fall to the zombie horde. I'd probably have to kill him, again, later. Damned zombies.

My own demise came about 15 minutes later, when armed with a brick (A brick! Not much reach with one of those, and you don't dare throw the thing and end up weaponless). Zombies were, once more, making their way towards us. A fellow teammate cowered behind me, saying, "You've got the brick! You've got the brick," not daring to take a turn with it, despite the fact I'd already dispatched a dozen dead to save the few of us remaining. Smart guy, that coward is. After I tangled with the zombie, Coward Boy then asked over and over if the zombie had gotten me. Shouting, "are you sure? are you sure?" when I said I was fine. I wished he would have shouted instead, "Look out, zombie crawling behind you!"

So, yeah, I died. Then I turned into a zombie and shambled around the TWOSE galleries, trying to turn more of the living.

Oh, and I'd add one more thing to that list at the start.

4. Being a zombie is lonely business.

Thanks Telus World of Science for a great evening! And thanks to Simulation Events - Zombie Apocalypse Scenarios for putting on a great event.

Now it is on to The Dead Landz,

June 10th, 2017, from 3:00pm to 9:00pm at Silver Creek Paintball in Camrose. Head out on Highway 21 South to Camrose (about an hour from Edmonton). Deadlandz is Simulation Events semi-annual event that submerges players into a "real" world situation of survival.

Solve a series of problems to help escape a zombie infested location. Hunt for supplies, weapons, and more. The goal of the game is whatever you make it: Up your zombie-kill count, try to find the way to escape, or hunker down and try to survive until the end.

You start with nothing but the clothes on your back, everything else (water, food, supplies, weapons) you will have to search for.

Sounds like this could be the most fun way to spend a day with zombies.